Keyword Mashup

New York Jets.

O. J. Simpson's lawyer.

Lesbians fighting.

Flames and fire.

Yes, that really happened. It's not the plot for some bad late night movie on Skinemax.

"Casey had a fight one night with her current girlfriend," heavily tattooed Lisa Marie Alvarez, a Los Angeles source, told Page Six. "Casey went to Courtenay's house, and Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of her, and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had to be hospitalized."

Casey's mother, Sale Johnson, reportedly flew to LA and consulted with lawyer Robert Shapiro. No one returned calls except Courtenay, whose father Terry Semel ran Yahoo for years. Casey — who isn't speaking to her father, or her aunt, Libet Johnson — is the mother of an adopted girl from Kazakhstan.

And you thought throwing three picks against the Dolphins was bad.

Even more? Apparently Semel is involved with Tila Tequila and/or Lindsey Lohan. I can't tell for sure, and performing those sort of in-depth keyword searches would probably not be a good idea.

I can't tell and would rather not know.

This concludes your moron post of the day.