How to celebrate properly

For a while now, we've been trying to figure out a good way to celebrate Sammie's birthday, since it falls right in the glut of a bunch of other holidays and important days.

We've been trying to figure out how to balance the actual birthday with visiting family, taking time off work if we went to see family, doing something special, and so on.

I'd also thought about going to see family since they are, as usual, in crappy state health-wise and we don't know how many more visits there might be with those relatives.

So, we went ahead and finally made plans for the birthday.

We'll head to Arizona to see my father, who has had more health problems (different than the stage 4 lung cancer which somehow decided to up and quite and still in remission).

While there, we will also see my uncle and my cousin's family for a nice holiday get-together.

The next day, we will go ahead and celebrate Sammie's birthday.



OK, probably not clear enough...




All right, fine, I'll make it easier to understand.




No, we are not having a birthday party at Pure, Sapphire, or Rehab. But, we will all drive up, and take the kids to a few places, including the Secret Garden/Dolphin Habitat and other fun kid things to be determined, then begin heading back east.

We don't plan on staying long, but enough that the kids, their grandpa, and hopefully we will all have a good time without having to worry about any unexpected craziness. It's been a crazy and topsy-turvy few weeks, and we almost decided not to go out West.

Even though we won't be able to do some of the things we'd hoped, it will still be good for the kids to see some more evidence that yes, I do have relatives, and yes, this is where you got your silliness and craziness from, and yes, this is what you have to look forward to.

Hah.

Legendary conversations extended

H/t sciforums.com because, well, because I can.


Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No … I am your father!

Luke: No. It can’t be. That’s not true. That’s impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you know them to be true.

Luke: NOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old.

Luke: NOOOOO! … Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn’t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: But… I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it’s not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… Nobody loved me… waahhh wahhh!”
Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi Knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… the only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

Ga-Ga meets Bruce Dickinson

Yes, THE Bruce Dickinson.

H/T The Culture Spoke.

So Close

Went out 2nd among our little group in our last longer bet.

Unfortunately, 2nd pays nothing.

On the bright side, I finished 5,691st, and 7,500 paid, for a profit of $7.50.

I had a set of eights, was called by 10-10, who then hit his two-outer on the turn.

Boo.

Las Longer - FTOPS Warm-Up

There is a Warm-Up tourney tomorrow at 3:15 EST which is expected to have 50,000 entrants.

Several of us are gong to do a last-longer bet.

Want in? Follow the link below. $5 from each loser to me...er, the winner...which will be me.

Click here.

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The FTOPS XIV Warm Up
Turn a small buy-in into serious cash and win your seat to the FTOPS XIV Main Event with The FTOPS XIV Warm Up.

There is $250,000 in guaranteed prize money up for grabs starting at 15:05 ET on Sunday, November 1st. As an added bonus, the winner will receive a free $535 entry to the FTOPS XIV Main Event.

Buy in directly for $5 + $0.50 or satellite your way in for as little as $0.50 or 50 Full Tilt Points. This tournament is limited to 50,000 players, so grab your seat as fast as you can.

To register for The FTOPS XIV Warm Up

1.Log in to Full Tilt Poker.
2.Set the filters in the browse area to Tournaments, then select FTOPS, Hold ‘em, No-Limit and click Low.
3.Look for the FTOPS XIV Warm Up tournament on November 1st at 15:05 ET.
4.Click Register Now.

Not the End of the World

Some people have compared the Yankees-Phillies World Series as a worst-case scenario, a woeful end to the season, and an ugly pairing of Goliaths.

I won't name names or anything.

I'll be honest and say that baseball has been mostly off my radar the last few weeks. The Braves choked in the final week in going for the wild card, and since then my attention has been on football and only football.

But this series actually interests me.

I'm looking forward to seeing the two best teams in baseball, and clearly the best team from each league, battle it out in a heavyweight fight. The past several World Series have featured one or even both teams with little appeal to the whole country (2005), or a foregone conclusion (2004, 2006) , or a plucky team whose fans barely support it (2008), or a team that just got hot at the right time but was severely outclassed (2007).

There, now that I've pissed off readers in every time zone, let's look at each series.

2008: While the Phillies generated a lot of interest, the Rays were an out-of-nowhere team than was miserable for its first ten seasons before catching lightning in a bottle - and even then it took most of the season before people actually started going to the games, and most people thought going into the Series that the Phillies would finish it quickly - which they did.

2007: Red Sox sweep the Rockies who pretty much went on a sizzling tear to capture a weak western division and somehow get to the Series before getting trounced by Boston in a sweep.

2006: Cardinals! Tigers! Egads. Both with devoted local followings, but the Cards were almost a lock to beat an in-over-its-head Tigers team that fell back to mediocrity as quickly as it had risen up from a 119-loss season, as they missed the playoffs in 2007. This was probably the first year I felt guilty about not watching every game - or even more than one game.

2005: The White Sox were notable for breaking the Black Sox curse, which would have probably gotten more play if they were not following the Red Sox. Besides, the other Chicago team has the national following. The Astros had the worst record of any playoff team, and as the wild card was another team that just got hot at the right time but was in way over its head.

2004: This was an exciting postseason, yes, but does anyone think the Cardinals had a chance after the Red Sox came back from 3-0 in the LCS? I don't know anyone who game them a chance. I still watched every game, but you knew how the Series would go.

The last series with this sort of excitement was probably the 2003 series between the Marlins and...the Yankees. Yes, the Marlins had the worst record of any playoff team, but with 91 wins still can lay claim to belonging - and this series may have been another crucial point in finally bringing a halfway decent stadium to Miami. Unlike 1997, they did not gut the team, and eventually plans finally went through to build a new stadium (which is still one year away).

This year, though, the two teams featured are far and away the best in each league. Neither one snuck into the playoffs. Neither one waned at the end of the year. Neither one let up in the playoffs, with each cruising to easy victories.

I'm looking forward to it. I actually plan on watching the games this year, which I don't think I've done much of since...2003, actually.

As for who I am rooting for...well, it'll be tricky to explain to the kids. I used to live in New York and was a huge Yankees fan, but being here combined with the way the Yankees were going (bringing in cancers like Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield, etc.) made me turn on them entirely. I did make sure to take the kids to the old Yankee Stadium before it was turned down, but that was more for the stadium than to root on the Yankees.

I don't begrudge the Phillies much, and frankly I'd rather root for the team that beat the Braves and isn't completely full of steroid/HGH users.

Even though I think the Yankees will win (mostly due to the bullpen), I'd much prefer a Phillies repeat. If nothing else, it will shut them up about Donovan McNabb's piss-poor play lately.

Not Luck of the Irish.

DON'T MESS WITH ME.

All kidding aside, Andy Bloch is one of my favorite players.

However, I have no problem taking his or anybody else's money. Just because you've been on TV a bit doesn't mean I won't know what you're doing.

Full Tilt Poker Game #15477681092: Table Andy Bloch - $1/$2 - Limit Hold'em - 0:52:01 ET - 2009/10/21
Seat 1: Stoges5 ($21.65)
Seat 2: APOSEC72 ($63.20)
Seat 3: undeadmoney ($101.10)
Seat 4: Andy Bloch ($108.45)
Seat 5: staniv ($26.45)
Seat 6: dtowndestroyer ($13.85)
Seat 7: sc00ter80 ($46.95)
Seat 8: MunkeyPoker ($21.80)
undeadmoney posts the small blind of $0.50
Andy Bloch posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to APOSEC72 [Qs Kh]
staniv folds
dtowndestroyer folds
sc00ter80 folds
MunkeyPoker folds
Stoges5 raises to $2
APOSEC72 calls $2
undeadmoney calls $1.50
Andy Bloch calls $1
*** FLOP *** [5d Qd Jh]
undeadmoney checks
Andy Bloch checks
Stoges5 checks
APOSEC72 bets $1
undeadmoney folds
Andy Bloch raises to $2
Stoges5 folds
APOSEC72 calls $1
*** TURN *** [5d Qd Jh] [8s]
Andy Bloch bets $2
APOSEC72 calls $2
*** RIVER *** [5d Qd Jh 8s] [2s]
Andy Bloch bets $2
APOSEC72 calls $2
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Andy Bloch shows [Qc Ts] a pair of Queens
APOSEC72 shows [Qs Kh] a pair of Queens
APOSEC72 wins the pot ($19) with a pair of Queens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $20 Rake $1
Board: [5d Qd Jh 8s 2s]
Seat 1: Stoges5 folded on the Flop
Seat 2: APOSEC72 (button) showed [Qs Kh] and won ($19) with a pair of Queens
Seat 3: undeadmoney (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: Andy Bloch (big blind) showed [Qc Ts] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 5: staniv didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: dtowndestroyer didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: sc00ter80 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: MunkeyPoker didn't bet (folded)

Oh, THIS is why i don't play more...

In Daily Double - A tonight, with above average stacks in both tourneys.

*Sigh*


KK in BB for me, average stack
AA in UTG + 1 for short stack
QQ on button for big stack.

Fade the Q.

The Aces were a short stack, so if I fade the queen I chip up by about 40%.

Two-outer on turn.

Dealer: Hand #15279036656
Dealer: APOSEC72 shows
Dealer: Smelleh89 shows
Dealer: Weakette shows
Dealer: APOSEC72 shows two pair, Kings and Nines
Dealer: Weakette shows a full house, Queens full of Nines
Dealer: Weakette wins the side pot (4,690) with a full house, Queens full of Nines
Dealer: Smelleh89 shows two pair, Aces and Nines
Dealer: Weakette wins the main pot (6,050) with a full house, Queens full of Nines

Happy Chinchilla Day

I am so using this in the office.

H/t to the wife who does not have a blog, hence no link.

Cussing at Work

Stealing this from a friend because it is:

1) funny;
2) indicative of half the things I actually say in the office on a daily basis.

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Cussing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Transfer needed

I may need, in the next couple of days (and perhaps sooner), to do a PayPal for Full Tilt transfer.

The good news: I've been able to triple my meager bankroll into something where I can actually play a bit.

However, I'm needing to pull some off for unexpected items, and don't have the time to wait 2-3 weeks given that it is still pretty small potatoes - only about $100 for now.

Considering my balance a week ago was at $1.85, that's pretty impressive. It actually is now between 150 and 200, after the $50 Take 2 bonus and some decent sessions at cash tables. I'm looking to leave about $50 and take the rest out.

So, if you are looking to gain some Full Tilt $ in exchange for transferring via PayPal, I would appreciate it.

Hit me up in the comments, or at aposec72 AT gmail.

A Brief History of Internet Time

H/T Julius Goat.

Easiest Bonus Ever

I started the month with $0.40.

I ended the month with $1.85.

Bonus won: $50.00. I think the highest I ever got, with limited play, was $5.

Easiest...clearing...ever. Thanks for the freebie.

Props to Cox after all

I've written a whole lot this year about how I expected 90 losses.

I've written about expecting a bottoming out and that the team should be blown up.

I've written it's time to start the rebuilding effort and time for old stalwarts (and managers) to go.

Time to write it....

I was wrong.

The Braves won their 82nd game Wednesday night, clinching a winning season due to a three-game sweep of the hapless, actual 90-loss Mets (well, 88 at the moment, but I don't think they're winning 9 of 11 to end the year and avoid 90 losses). I would have written this during the day yesterday, but got caught up and, well, stuff happens.

So, it's time for to admit that I was absolutely, completely wrong in my assessment. Not just a little wrong, but completely wrong in the preseason prediction of powerlessness.

As it stands now, the Braves sit 3.5 games out of the wild card, having jumped over Florida and San Francisco and trailing only Colorado.

I had thought, after two crushing defeats to the Marlins a couple weeks ago and the following five-game slide, that there was no chance at postseason play.

Apparently, the Braves players did not agree, having now won eight of their last ten.

It is possible that the Braves squeak into the postseason. Their remaining schedule has three games in Washington, three games at home against Florida, and four more at home against Washington.

They should win the series in Washington and may even sweep, since they do a lot better on the road and the Nationals are even more atrocious than the Mets.

I'm not sure if they will pull it off at home - especially in front of a fan base as quiet as a Sunday picnic - but the fact that they are still in it after tons of injuries and many, many rookies means I actually have to give Bobby Cox credit for a well-done job.

That sentence still makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Tickets are probably still available - I might just pick up a couple.

We'll see what happens - but at least it's become a close race to enjoy instead of mind-numbing defeat night after night - but again, enough about the Mets.

What's a cubit?

Wow, original content!

And so it was that the waters engulfed Atlanta for ten days and ten nights, and Michael rode the flood out with son and daughter and fish and computer.

Upon the eleventh day, Michael awoke to see the sun shining overhead and the waters receded.

Then the LORD spake to Michael "Cometh out of thine ark, made of brick and wood and stucco, and see all that I have given to you. This lawn shall be yours to make of it, and I shine the sun in the heavens as a sign to you that the waters have receded.

"For about two hours.

"Now, go forth, and mow thine grass so that it doth not grow so high from the mighty floodgates of heaven."

And Michael obeyed the LORD and did what he was told, for he knew the work must be done. With his mighty faith in the RAS connection which would allow him to work from home, he set out to fulfill the LORD's work.

And the LORD smiled upon him when the grass was cut, and spared him from the mighty plague of hay fever.

Not enough, however, to build the reservoir to hold all the rain. That would be foolish.

So let it be written...so let it be done.

Stand by for smiting in 3....2.....1......

(Bonus points for anyone who gets the title reference and the comedian who used it)

Truckin' Pimpin'

Read, enjoy, subscribe yourself. I'm taking off for the weekend. Peace.

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Truckin' -- http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com

September 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 9
Welcome back to the September issue of Truckin'.

1. Tangerine Rockets by Paul McGuire
Lennie was an international legend. His father walked away from a plane crash and passed along some of those good luck genes over to Lennie.... More

2. The Red Pill by Sigge S. Amdal
She dropped the face and began to cry, as tensions rose around me. The waiters stopped waiting tables, people stopped talking; they were just exchanging knowing glances and judgmental comments... More

3. Fine Tuning by Milton T. Burton
He looked perplexed. I slipped my hand beneath my coat, came out with the little silenced .22 Magnum auto, and shot him right in the center of the forehead. The hollow-point bullet exited the back of his skull, making a colorful little jet of blood and brains as it went... More

4. On Scoring by Human Head
One look at the eyeliner, eyebrows, gold hoops and herringbone chains, and I knew this was the Angel we were supposed to see. As she drew closer to the door, the tattoo's left little doubt. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me... More

5. The Joys of Gambling by Johnny Hughes
Saratoga Springs, New York in August was the gambling capital of America in the 1920s, with the horses, the spa waters, large and ornate casinos, and America's wealthiest citizens in a gilded age, when money and wine were treated like water... More


What a Long Strange Trip It's Been...
From the Editor's Laptop:

The September edition of Truckin' marks the return of the Human Head after a four year hiatus. I'm enthralled to have him back in the mix. Everyone's favorite Norwegian word wanker, Sigge, returns for a second month in a row. We also have a couple of Texan scribes in Johnny Hughes and Milton T. Burton. And of course, I have a story inspired by a recent trip to Colorado.

Thanks for telling your friends about Truckin'. May you will increase your karma ten fold! The contibutors here write for free and you'll be doing me a huge favor by helping get the some publicity.

If anyone is interested in being added to the mailing list, or perhaps you are interested in writing for a future issue, then feel free to contact me.

I have to sincerely thank the writers for sharing their bloodwork. Thanks for taking this leap of faith with me. And a special thanks goes out to you, the reader, for your loyalty and support over the years.

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