God, jail, dinosaurs, and the law

I'm proud of the fact that my son is growing up loving God.

Being four and a half now, he's getting to the age of strange questions, so we try to handle them as well as we can. For example, this morning he was talking about dinosaurs, as he likes to do.

He asked who made the little plastic dinosaur he was holding, and I replied that it was made in China. He replied by telling me that he thought God made everything, to which I replied that God made the original materials, which people in China (since it said, "Made in China" and he can read) then fashioned into the toy dino he was holding.

Yes, that was satisfactory. I'm glad I didn't have to begin discussing the composition of plastics while driving them to school.

When he goes to church, he goes to his Sunday School classroom and he enjoys being there. He's liked his teachers very much - including his current one, though we've advised him to call her "Ma'am" instead of "Mommy" but it might take a few weeks.

He hasn't gotten to know our new reverend as of yet. We had a change on pastor over the summer, as our former pastor, Fr. Berny, went to Conyers to oversee the construction of a new church. We have two new priests who we already enjoy - one is an older priest with an Irish accent, and the other is about as conservative as you can expect, extremely adherent to church teachings. I like both of them already, and I'm very comfortable with them, and I'm sure if/when Alex starts school there, he will feel just as comfortable in school as I felt in elementary school and high school.

That brings me to the third part of the title of this post. Growing up, I tried to avoid being at home as much as possible. I spent as much time either at school or out of the house with friends, as many of you remember who read here regularly. I got along well with almost all of my teachers, and at times (especially rough times) would confide in the faculty a lot, including the clergy, and they were always helpful to me in trying to sort things out.

I never thought of, or had to worry about, any of the scandalous behavior we hear about often nowadays - never crossed my mind, and there was no reason for it to cross my mind. There was never anything inappropriate, and to consider anything like that as a possibility was absolutely abhorrent. Whether it was a lay teacher, one of the priests, or even the principal or headmaster, they were still people that I knew I could confide in and trust without any repercussion.

It was that sort of trust that probably caused me to be even more devastated when I read this article a couple of weeks ago about the former headmaster of Regis High School coming out of New Jersey at the end of September.

When I was in high school, Fr. Kuntz was one of the people I would confide in, among others, about crazy shit going on in my life. I never felt threatened, nor was anything ever tried that would have been associated with this sort of behavior. Hell, he performed my mother's memorial service at Regis in 1993. This was definitely be one of the people that I trusted deeply in my time there.

That makes this news all the sadder. I would not have suspected the person I knew of such behavior. Some more cynical among us might cite statistics as an expectation of such behavior among a predetermined amount of the population. From a macro level, it's easy to make that judgment.

On a micro level, a more personal level, it's tougher to make that assumption, especially when you know all the people involved. Yes, one should expect a certain percentage of that behavior within the general population, but knowing just WHO throws a lot more variables into the mix regarding their overall personality.

Now, this is not a defense of the sin or the sinner in this case. It's wrong, and can't be justified, especially in an educational setting. What I am going to say, though, is that it's easy to condemn them without hoping and praying that they are rehabilitated in some form or fashion.

A letter was sent out from Regis last week which discussed the incident, but it was severely lacking in reassurances to the Regis community. It did not detail that his time was thoroughly investigated, or any actions taken by the school or archdiocese to investigate the past or safeguard against any behavior in the future. It was severely lacking in facts and reassurances, which would do nothing to reassure the Regis community at large.

At the same time, one part of the letter was correct, in that just trashing the sin and the sinner doesn't really get anywhere. That is where the law comes in, and Fr. Kuntz will have to deal with the consequences of his actions and the people who have been hurt by this. As Catholics, it is also our duty not just to punish the sin, but also to forgive the sinner when they seek remorse for their actions.

At this point, on a micro level, all I can do hope and pray that he is remorseful and repentant for his actions. I know from my personal experience that it seemed unlikely he would engage in this sort of behavior, but the facts are blatantly obvious that it did take place. At this point, I would hope he knows his sin and is prepared to do whatever penance is necessary in the eyes of God and of the law.

At this point, I would also be prepared to listen to his problems and try to help the same way many faculty members helped me with my personal problems many years ago.

I'm not denying it's complicated. It is, in many ways, and from a population standpoint some actions must be taken to prevent this sort of behavior in any segment, not just the priesthood. We shouldn't have to worry about this sort of behavior when our kids are sent off to school - we should be able to trust that the laymen and clergy in our community will support our children and be good role models for them.

I want Alex to be able to confide in his teachers the same way I was able to confide in my teachers, while at the same time I want to make sure he's in an environment that he can still come talk to us r to his teachers about anything that worries him. Children need to have that sort of comfortable environment to be able to actually grow up somewhat well-adjusted.

But on a personal level, we must also realize that forgiveness should come into play, provided the sinner is WILLING to do penance for his sins. While we can cast out someone for the gravity of their sins, we must also be willing to forgive such sins from someone who is willing to seek such interior repentance.

To those who stuck with this post to the end, thank you - I've been trying to figure out how to put my thoughts down for quite a while.

Prehistoric Futuristic Smashing

If we got this for Alex for Christmas, I think his head would absolutly explode in delight.

Kota is in some respects a largish (32 inches tall, over 36 inches long) version of the Pleo. While the Kota Triceratops Dinosaur appears to have fewer sensors he can sense motion and touch, move his head, and blink his eyes.

While Kota will make stomping sounds when you (or your kid) jump on his back, he is unable to walk on his own.Kota Robot Baby Dino, Oct 2008

If we had the space for it, or the budget ($300????), it might be something to consider - but yikes.