Finally, It's Over

I have to write this somewhere,  and this is as good as any since I might be bringing this site back.

As of Thursday, I officially became a statistic of a divorced parent. After separating in October, we received a final decree last week and a tumultuous period is finally over - partially.

I say partially because my kids and I will have to live with this for a long time. We moved out and got an apartment nearby, so that they could continue attending the same school and doing the same activities, and the fight for that to continue has been contentious at best, and nightmarish at worst.

When family dynamics change, for the most part there are lots of people that provide outpourings of support - at least with regards to a birth, a death, a wedding, a graduation. It does not work that way in a divorce. It can feel very lonely to go through it.

In the end, it was  achoice that had to be made because staying together would have resulted, it seemed, in far greater damage. The amount of time spent to fix things numbered almost three years before I decided enough was enough - yes, I was the one that filed.

After trying individual therapy, couples therapy, and other methods it was obvious it would never improve - and as my now ex-wife said to the church priest, if there weren't kids we'd have split a long time ago.

I know there are some schools of thought that say it is better to stay together for the sake of the children. However, when staying together guarantees a dysfunctional household is all the kids know that is not a desirable scenario. The only chance the kids would have, it seemed, to see a functional household would be to create a second one - and after another job loss in September, I realized it was time to do so.

My employer has been very supportive throughout this entire ordeal. They have understood that there are going to be many times that I needed to be dealing with court arrangements, handoffs, and other occurrences throughout this ordeal, and I am very grateful they have stuck by me and that I am still there after five and a half years (wow, it has been a while).

Some friends have been very supportive during this. Others have fallen off or outright blocked me, that is to be expected and nothing I do will change that.

What matters most is how the kids see it. Now, at ages nine and six, they understand what a functioning household should look like - and how we did not have one before. They understand that this family is not going to be like other families, but that it does not mean we love them any less - I think, if anything (or at least hope) that each of us values our time with them more than before and will work harder to make that a certainty. We will each have them fifty percent of the time, and it's on each of us to make every minute count.

Growing up, I had a pair of parents that stayed together for "my" sake - and it was not right. They both spiraled as alcoholics, lost job after job because of their instabilities, with addiction to alcohol and smoking eventually killing them both - one when I was sixteen, the other a couple of years ago, but killing them eventually. That was the path we were heading dowm - and like a lot of other cases, it would not be right for me to pass down to my children the problems that my parents passed to me.

The chain has to break somewhere, or problems continue to pass down from generation to generation. Staying in a broken marriage would have meant passing these tendencies down to the kids, because they were reaching teh age when learned behaviors become almost permanent.

For those that didn't know, I'm sorry for not saying more, It can be hard to tell when you've said too little or too much in a divorce. Sometimes, I seemed to err with certain people on saying too much, and it's hurt when I cross the line to TMI.

For all I know, this post fits the bill of TMI.

Point is, I'm glad this is over, and I'm glad that we can now move forward to a better future instead of looking to a broken past. I feel good about it and so do the kids  - when we broke news to them last week it was final, their reactions were "good" and "finally" instead of sadness and crying.

They are ready to move forward, and so am I, and we will do exactly that with a new school year looming on the horizon. 

Not dead yet

I may actually be emerging from the depths to re-activate this soon. It's been a very long time and I don't know if anyone's left, but perhaps it'll be time to write here again soon.  It's been a crazy, crazy, time. When I'm ready, I'll explain. But not yet.

Point is that no, I'm not dead, and no, I don't want to go on the cart.

Just a reminder

I don't write here primarily anymore. For fun rantings, ravings, and rejoicing, head over to http://francaseplace.com/.

In the meantime - Quads FTW! Gotta love getting your chips all in as an overwhelming favorite and hitting this.

Reagan tribute scheduled for Super Bowl - Atlanta Political Buzz | Examiner.com

Reagan tribute scheduled for Super Bowl - Atlanta Political Buzz Examiner.com

Planned in correlation with Reagan's 100th birthday, which is the same day as Super Bowl XLV, which will (hopefully) feature the Falcons trying to win their first Super Bowl.

Hopefully.

New Mario Bros. Movie Trailer | The Game Station Exclusive!

Nice. Not the same as when I played Mario Bros. 25 years ago or so. But nice.

WIN - and not even in office yet

Current ax rates extended two years, and payroll taxes cut - and the GOP hasn't even taken over the House yet.

Post 1300

With a re-direction to where it seems I am doing the bulk of my writing nowadays - yes, it will link to a fan page, but it's just a cool widget to throw in here.

That's just wrong

Bad Napoleon Dynamite...bad.

Closers brought in for last day of runoff

Closers brought in for last day of runoff

Polls are now open - but this is far from the end.

A tale of two pros - A visit to Horford's camp

I got to interview Atlanta Hawks C Al Horford at his first annual summer basketball camp for kids last week at Oglethorpe University.

 

 

Sent to you by APOSEC72 via Google Reader:

 

 

A tale of two pros - A visit to Horford's camp

via Atlanta Hawks Examiner on 7/11/10

In every walk of life, be it movies, sports, politics, or elsewhere, you have good guys and you have bad guys. In sports, we want to root for our team, because they're the good guys. We cheer them on, we root for them, and we treat them as ...

 

 

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Cobb GOP BBQ boosts Handel, Johnson

Cobb GOP BBQ boosts Handel, Johnson

Hashed Tags - Dem Stunt Goes Wrong

Hashed Tags - Dem Stunt Goes Wrong

At least the stunt didn't result in a RickRoll.

Sesame Street of Slayer

You know, I always envisioned Oscar as a mellow Radiohead-type instead of banging out to Slayer.

Examiner.com: Outlandish predictor signs books

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This afternoon, author and former Clinton political consultant Dick Morris will be appearing at a dinner party and book signing hosted by the Atlanta Tea Party. The event will be taking place tonight beginning at 5:00 PM at the State Capitol...

To read the rest of this article, please click on the link below:

http://www.examiner.com/x-1349-Atlanta-Political-Buzz-Examiner~y2010m6d5-Outlandish-predictor-signs-books?cid=email-this-article

BBT5 recap (New and redirect)

Reminder - this place ain't gonna be around much longer.

 

New post of BBT5 recap and UIGEA thoughts up on the new site.

 

http://francaseplace.com/archives/1334

 

Update y'all's bookmarks and links and stuff...

Who wants a LOST rant?

I do! I do!

What a Sunday night.

Packing and upgrading

I have been working on this for a while, but until the last couple of weeks, I haven't really done much work to get it done.

However, a couple of weeks ago I finally got off my duff to begin doing something about it.

It's been a long time coming, but it's time for the site to move.

I finally got my own domain, and for now will post here and there. Starting next month I will begin posting there exclusively. The feeds will redirect and I will only post over there.

So, take out the blogspot of the address here, and you have the new site:

http://francaseplace.com

I'm building the blogroll slowly and tinkering with the format but I kinda like it now.

Feel free to drop on by.

In the meantime, after June, Blogger can go DIAF.

Live-blogging the Dankie

Dank? Mookie? Both?

I dunno, but let's live-blog it. I've played seven or eight of these tourneys and failed to cash so far. Deplorable. Fullt Tilt, please treat me a little better tonight. Mmmmkay?

10:00 Off with 84 runners so far. I only recognize two names at my table.

10:14: Waffles got moved to my left. Thank you God! Time to chip back up.

10:18: Take a small pot off Waffles to move back over a starting stack. We are at 91 donkeys tonight. Final table of 9 pays out, with the winner getting a 3-in-23 chnce of a Main Event seat.

10:20: Maybe some music will do too. Dude, next month pay for the server space to get your site back.

10:25: Fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, raise and take, fold, fold, fold, fold.....

10:33: Apparently folding 20 straight hands isn't enough to convince people to stay away. Pissed away about half my stack on that hand.

10:35: Do I want to try to bust Waffles? Sure.

10:36: AYFKM? My K-J v. his K-8. Guess what shows up on the flop.

DIAF.

Next hand, K-K, and I shove all 240 chips in...and run them into Aces.

I think I'll go back to Cake.

Hammertime

U can't touch this...

Hammer boats are frigging AWESOME!

I checked the BB and bet on every street, including a push on the river, and got called all the way down.

Still went out 60th in the Mookie/Dank out of 96...but it was fun. This edition of the BBT has been fun so far, even if it has been fruitless so far.

GeekDad in Practice

So, I'm solo with the kids all through the weekend. As usual, I try to make the weekend as packed as I possibly can.

Yesterday was a normal school day, with playground after school, a healthy dinner of chicken, broccoli, and macaroni (cut me SOME slack, after all) and in bed by 9:30 on a Friday.

(We'll ignore not being asleep until 11:00, as I was working on auditing an APO chapter's books last night while the kids were in bed with me. Hooray for multitasking!)

Today, I tried to pack in as much as I could, after a healthy, relaxed breakfast at home. Thankfully, the kids like strawberry waffles.

• Ballet for Sammie, from 10 to 11.
• Home to change.
• Head to Emory, to deliver the paperwork used for the audit and discuss that Emory's APO chapter was doing a pretty darn good job.
• Stop for snacks.
• Stop at a dojo near the house to learn about possible classes for Alex.
• Lunch - pizza.
• Local comic book shops Raven's Nest and Dr. No's, for Free Comic Book Day. Each of the kids now has their first comic books ever - Iron Man for Alex, and Toy Story for Sammie.

Once home, a couple hours of cleaning, included folding several loads of laundry, before making chicken alfredo and movie night. In this case, we went with a disc of Return of the Jedi, instead of Revenge of the Sith which was on TV

Alex has seen all of the original trilogy, but none of the prequels. Thankfully, he likes all of the originals. Tomorrow, that will change, as we will watch Revenge of the Sith.

Sometimes, I do need to punidh him, but not so much as to make him sit through the Phantom Menace, and really I don't think I need to make him sit through Attack of the Clones either when I can barely sit through it.

Thankfully, this was still a fun and productive day.